Being a human being feels like a lot at times. We must take care of ourselves on so many levels. Levels that I am just now discovering as I learn more about who I am. This week I felt off. It took me until today to realize this feeling was because I’m lacking on my me time. The time I spend alone allows me to recharge, to reconnect with me. I am getting familiar with what its like to live comfortably in my solitude, without anticipation. The feeling of being interrupted has always created a sprout of disturbance within me. I realize now that this is because I have not yet grown use to having a safe and peaceful place to just be me. I have had this change in my life, only two years since the time in my journey where I was genuinely lacking in a safe space to just be. I love the space that I have now, I’ve tried to get here and am steadily taking my time to experience and just be with myself.
When I am alone I am able to connect with myself in ways that I am not yet able to when I am around other people. As an empath it usually takes up until I am feeling the unbalance that comes with being a human sponge for all things emotion and energy. My mind feels so expansive, my body feels light today, my spirit feels heard because I am expressing. When I suppress the way I feel the alignment amongst my Mind, Body, & Spirit is compromised. It usually starts in the mind, a preoccupying thought or feeling that I choose to ignore yet think of constantly. Then it affects my body and I push back eating or forget to all together because I am Thinking so much, the mind begins to surpass the body. At this point my spirit is very much alerting me to the disease that my mind and body have now welcomed, this is when I start to grow quiet and turn within. I’ve found that when you speak to your heart and just listen, truly listen to yourself, it will tell you everything you need to know. Our hearts are the center of our Mind, Body, Spirit connection. This week I felt off balance and now I know why, I needed alone time to restore myself and rest in a way that allows silence to open my heart.
I find that lacking expression leads to suppression, to suppress is to help balance become undone. I will take care of myself, health is about more than just our bodies and neglecting one for the other can be harsh in the long run. I am trying harder each day to just let myself be, life is for being. I will be calm,
“Spiritual energy is the kind that never runs out.” –
Deepak Chopra (Truth teller)
Where: Moonday Night in the Studio~~~~.
Today was semi-unexpected but turned out pretty cool. I woke up to the pleasant surprise of the Sunshine, it has been pretty yet gloomy here in Chicago, so seeing The Sun so bright was so exciting to see and feel. I began my day and began my yogis on the balcony, right in the sun. With my eyes closed, it nearly felt like a mid-summer day. I was grateful, none the less, with my eyes open to the beauty that was the sky, trees, sunshine and little birds. I started practicing yoga in spring 2020, what a time that was. Like a lot of things, yoga found me. I didn’t take classes or follow along to a video until many months into my new experience with movement, my breath and body. Yoga found me at the perfect time, my time of solitude and silence, with all that time I still wanted to move around. But without too much effort or strain. I was flexible as a kid so falling back into stretching on the floor day to day felt natural to me. Sometimes I like to play music or flow in the quiet. Around the same time I began my daily practice, I quickly realized I’d developed the habit of holding my breath. Having to relearn something I’d been unconsciously doing for so long was tough, it was like I was afraid to breath at times. Baffled at the abundance of air that could flow through me at each moment. Now as I write this I am breathing through my nose and from my stomach. Yoga has gifted me with the power of my breath. I am no longer afraid to breath deeply or even to sigh every now and again. Breathing feels good. I proclaimed a year ago that I would feel every breath I take for the rest of my life, they are so precious. Connecting with my breath through yoga each day, even when I don’t physically feel like it, has helped me to build strength. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. Being able to sit in silence and just breath is one of the most peaceful experiences that I will treasure for life. Take time to connect with your breath, it keeps you going, it makes your heart happy. Life is truly a healing journey. I am choosing to heal one step at a time, in all the ways that will find me. Bless
That which is holding you down can become a powerful force that raises you up. You just have to be willing to take the ascent.
Michael A. Singer, author of The Untethered Soul
The art of letting go is a simple yet touchy art. I began reading the book The Untethered Soul: the journey beyond self this week because I was in need of guidance in this area of life. The area that calls for a genuine need to let go of what is no longer serving me. Realizing just how much energy can remain pent up within if you don’t take action or thought to remove it was mind blowing to me. So much of what we are taught by society, the norms that are all around us, have absolutely nothing to do with taking care of the self on a Mind, Body, AND Spiritual level. Yet, we are all living as beings who have all three of these aspects. Learning all of this after thinking otherwise for so long is liberating. Learning to let go is a life long lesson, one that we all have the opportunity to experience everyday through the simple and the complex.
If you’re interested in self healing and getting in tune with your spirit, your essence + you like to read I’d recommend The Untethered Soul: the journey beyond self. I am only on the 9th chapter and like many nurturing spiritual books it is a text I will return to for years to come. The messages are delivered in a way that has made me feel very validated as a human being whose just come into awareness.
I know I have much more to learn about the art of letting go, like anything else it takes time.
For me letting go has looked like:
Acknowledging that the “bad” things that have happened are in the past and do not need life breathed into them in the present
Breathing. Focusing on just breathing during times where clarity feels far from me
Listening to 432hz vibrationally healing music throughout my day (see playlist below)
Writing what I am thinking, writing what I am feeling, writing what I remember
Meditating with no expectation for what will find me
Being the observer of my thoughts more often
Sharing to connect, instead of sharing unintentionally
This week I’d like to focus on my communication, my voice, being mindful and reflective when communicating with others and with myself. This past week I felt conflicted in this area of my life, so naturally I chose to meditate on it this week. Within this meditation I’ve been reflecting on the ways I have chosen to communicate in the past; what makes me speak out of spirit or character. These are the the aspects of myself I feel are in need of some healing at the moment. I have been in this new practice of self expression. What a joy it has been so far. I feel freedom like never before. Even sitting here typing this, music in my ears, I am in joy. I spent a long time not expressing myself in the most loving ways. I use to find it difficult when trying to make sense of the way my expression and ways of communicating were captured by others.
So far today I have taken my time, I wanted to begin writing within this space on a regular basis and today marks the day that I begin that habit intentionally. It isn’t a particularly sunny day today, some may say it is gloomy. But I am shining on the inside so it feels like a beautiful to me, none the less.
I use the word MoonDay instead of Monday because Mondays are the day of the Moon and a great day for healing activity/practices/energy. I also really adore the Moon so it has been nice to incorporate into my vocabulary the more that I learn about it. This week is also the New Moon in Libra on 10-6-21. A beautiful day of the start of a new lunar cycle. Learning more about astrology and the earth have brought much meaning to my life in the past two years. There is a lot to be learned from nature, I am grateful for this.
Things that are healing to me
Music (playlist at top is current favorite band)
Creating freely without restriction or deadlines, so for today that means writing on my blog and reading my journals and poetry
Playing my drums and getting more familiar with the creation of sound, sound is so healing
Sitting in silence, meditation
Sleeping, resting fully and without distraction
Taking time to reflect on anything that has felt bothersome to me in the previous week/in general